I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize