would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
