You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
