ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize