Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
