3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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