I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize