Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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