guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize