and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
