I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I accidentally burped into my bong.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Alive.
So much puke
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
