Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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