just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
