im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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