White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize