Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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