Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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