u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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