So drunk its hurt
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
