Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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