whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
