im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
