Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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