Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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