This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize