In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I love you.
Bad choice
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