I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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