I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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