Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
