got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize