Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
They took my balls.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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