I don't think brook has ever known best
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
