Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
