If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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