sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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