I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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