he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
