Have you finally orgasmed yet?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
