I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
