every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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