I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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