He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
what day is it and did you see me today?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
