why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
