so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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