I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
