and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
