Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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