i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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