remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
