OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
