We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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