Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize