This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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