doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
