I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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