You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
