My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
