I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
