Heybabeimwearingurpanties
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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